I too lean towards x11. Generally it's better not to have options, and
in this case the problem is not that the dependencies are bloated, but
that the system is deficient in that it lacks x11. (pkgsrc expects
x11.) And, if x11 is broadly used as an option, putting -x11 in default
options will help a lot.
I'm not sure this has been addressed, but generally when we accomodate
this sort of request, the default behavior is unchanged, so that there's
be an x11 option which is default on, and people can turn it off.