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[src/netbsd-2-0]: src/games/fortune/datfiles Spell "political" correctly and ...
details: https://anonhg.NetBSD.org/src/rev/d4f7aa640133
branches: netbsd-2-0
changeset: 560124:d4f7aa640133
user: snj <snj%NetBSD.org@localhost>
date: Mon Mar 29 02:00:42 2004 +0000
description:
Spell "political" correctly and capitalize a last name.
diffstat:
games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 | 55537 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1 files changed, 55537 insertions(+), 0 deletions(-)
diffs (truncated from 55541 to 300 lines):
diff -r db10d0106e36 -r d4f7aa640133 games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
--- /dev/null Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 Mon Mar 29 02:00:42 2004 +0000
@@ -0,0 +1,55537 @@
+=======================================================================
+|| ||
+|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture! ||
+|| Watch for it at a theater near you next summer! ||
+|| ||
+=======================================================================
+ Francis Ford Coppola presents a George Lucas Production:
+ "Fortune Cookie"
+ Directed by Steven Spielberg.
+ Starring Harrison Ford Bette Midler Marlon Brando
+ Christopher Reeves Marilyn Chambers
+ and Bob Hope as "The Waiter".
+ Costumes Designed by Pierre Cardin.
+ Special Effects by Timothy Leary.
+ Read the Warner paperback!
+ Invoke the Unix program!
+ Soundtrack on XTC Records.
+ In 70mm and Dolby Stereo at selected theaters and terminal
+ centers.
+%
+ PLAYGIRL, Inc.
+ Philadelphia, Pa. 19369
+Dear Sir:
+ Your name has been submitted to us with your photo. I regret to
+inform you that we will be unable to use your body in our centerfold. On
+a scale of one to ten, your body was rated a minus two by a panel of women
+ranging in age from 60 to 75 years. We tried to assemble a panel in the
+age bracket of 25 to 35 years, but we could not get them to stop laughing
+long enough to reach a decision. Should the taste of the American woman
+ever change so drastically that bodies such as yours would be appropriate
+in our magazine, you will be notified by this office. Please, don't call
+us.
+ Sympathetically,
+ Amanda L. Smith
+
+p.s. We also want to commend you for your unusual pose. Were you
+ wounded in the war, or do you ride your bike a lot?
+%
+ _-^--^=-_
+ _.-^^ -~_
+ _-- --_
+ < >)
+ | |
+ \._ _./
+ ```--. . , ; .--'''
+ | | |
+ .-=|| | |=-.
+ `-=#$%&%$#=-'
+ | ; :|
+ _____.,-#%&$@%#&#~,._____
+%
+ FROM THE DESK OF
+ Dorothy Gale
+
+ Auntie Em:
+ Hate you.
+ Hate Kansas.
+ Taking the dog.
+ Dorothy
+%
+ FROM THE DESK OF
+ Rapunzel
+
+Dear Prince:
+
+ Use ladder tonight --
+ you're splitting my ends.
+%
+ SEMINAR ANNOUNCEMENT
+
+Title: Are Frogs Turing Compatible?
+Speaker: Don "The Lion" Knuth
+
+ ABSTRACT
+ Several researchers at the University of Louisiana have been studying
+the computing power of various amphibians, frogs in particular. The problem
+of frog computability has become a critical issue that ranges across all areas
+of computer science. It has been shown that anything computable by an amphi-
+bian community in a fixed-size pond is computable by a frog in the same-size
+pond -- that is to say, frogs are Pond-space complete. We will show that
+there is a log-space, polywog-time reduction from any Turing machine program
+to a frog. We will suggest these represent a proper subset of frog-computable
+functions.
+ This is not just a let's-see-how-far-those-frogs-can-jump seminar.
+This is only for hardcore amphibian-computation people and their colleagues.
+ Refreshments will be served. Music will be played.
+%
+ UNIX Trix
+
+For those of you in the reseller business, here is a helpful tip that will
+save your support staff a few hours of precious time. Before you send your
+next machine out to an untrained client, change the permissions on /etc/passwd
+to 666 and make sure there is a copy somewhere on the disk. Now when they
+forget the root password, you can easily login as an ordinary user and correct
+the damage. Having a bootable tape (for larger machines) is not a bad idea
+either. If you need some help, give us a call.
+
+ -- CommUNIXque 1:1, ASCAR Business Systems
+%
+ ___====-_ _-====___
+ _--~~~#####// ' ` \\#####~~~--_
+ -~##########// ( ) \\##########~-_
+ -############// |\^^/| \\############-
+ _~############// (O||O) \\############~_
+ ~#############(( \\// ))#############~
+ -###############\\ (oo) //###############-
+ -#################\\ / `' \ //#################-
+ -###################\\/ () \//###################-
+ _#/|##########/\######( (()) )######/\##########|\#_
+ |/ |#/\#/\#/\/ \#/\##| \()/ |##/\#/ \/\#/\#/\#| \|
+ ` |/ V V ` V )|| |()| ||( V ' V /\ \| '
+ ` ` ` ` / | |()| | \ ' '<||> '
+ ( | |()| | )\ /|/
+ __\ |__|()|__| /__\______/|/
+ (vvv(vvvv)(vvvv)vvv)______|/
+%
+ DELETE A FORTUNE!
+Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?!
+Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system?
+You can! Just mail to `fortune' with the fortune you hate most,
+and we'll make sure it gets expunged.
+%
+ It's grad exam time...
+COMPUTER SCIENCE
+ Inside your desk you'll find a listing of the DEC/VMS operating
+system in IBM 1710 machine code. Show what changes are necessary to convert
+this code into a UNIX Berkeley 7 operating system. Prove that these fixes are
+bug free and run correctly. You should gain at least 150% efficiency in the
+new system. (You should take no more than 10 minutes on this question.)
+
+MATHEMATICS
+ If X equals PI times R^2, construct a formula showing how long
+it would take a fire ant to drill a hole through a dill pickle, if the
+length-girth ratio of the ant to the pickle were 98.17:1.
+
+GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
+Describe the Universe. Give three examples.
+%
+ It's grad exam time...
+MEDICINE
+ You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
+bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has
+been inspected. (You have 15 minutes.)
+
+HISTORY
+ Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
+day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,
+economic, religious and philisophical impact upon Europe, Asia, America, and
+Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
+
+BIOLOGY
+ Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture
+if this form of life had been created 500 million years ago or earlier, with
+special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+10: Potholes are
+ a) extremely dangerous.
+ b) patriotic.
+ c) the fault of the previous administration.
+ d) all going to be fixed next summer.
+The correct answer is b.
+Potholes destroy unpatriotic, unamerican, imported cars, since the holes
+are larger than the cars. If you drive a big, patriotic, American car
+you have nothing to worry about.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+2: A traffic light at an intersection changes from yellow to red, you should
+ a) stop immediately.
+ b) proceed slowly through the intersection.
+ c) blow the horn.
+ d) floor it.
+The correct answer is d.
+If you said c, you were almost right, so give yourself a half point.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+3: When stopped at an intersection you should
+ a) watch the traffic light for your lane.
+ b) watch for pedestrians crossing the street.
+ c) blow the horn.
+ d) watch the traffic light for the intersecting street.
+The correct answer is d.
+You need to start as soon as the traffic light for the intersecting
+street turns yellow.
+Answer c is worth a half point.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+4: Exhaust gas is
+ a) beneficial.
+ b) not harmful.
+ c) toxic.
+ d) a punk band.
+The correct answer is b.
+The meddling Washington eco-freak communist bureaucrats who say otherwise
+are liars. (Message to those who answered d. Go back to California where
+you came from. Your kind are not welcome here.)
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+5: Your car's horn is a vital piece of safety equipment.
+ How often should you test it?
+ a) once a year.
+ b) once a month.
+ c) once a day.
+ d) once an hour.
+The correct answer is d.
+You should test your car's horn at least once every hour,
+and more often at night or in residential neighborhoods.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+7: The car directly in front of you has a flashing right tail light
+ but a steady left tail light.
+ a) One of the tail lights is broken. You should blow your
+ horn to call the problem to the driver's attention.
+ b) The driver is signaling a right turn.
+ c) The driver is signaling a left turn.
+ d) The driver is from out of town.
+The correct answer is d.
+Tail lights are used in some foreign countries to signal turns.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+8: Pedestrians are
+ a) irrelevant.
+ b) communists.
+ c) a nuisance.
+ d) difficult to clean off the front grille.
+The correct answer is a. Pedestrians are not in cars, so they
+are totally irrelevant to driving, and you should ignore them
+completely.
+%
+ Pittsburgh driver's test
+9: Roads are salted in order to
+ a) kill grass.
+ b) melt snow.
+ c) help the economy.
+ d) prevent potholes.
+The correct answer is c.
+Road salting employs thousands of persons directly, and millions more
+indirectly, for example, salt miners and rustproofers. Most important,
+salting reduces the life spans of cars, thus stimulating the car and
+steel industries.
+%
+
+ ( /\__________/\ )
+ \(^ @___..___@ ^)/
+ /\ (\/\/\/\/) /\
+ / \(/\/\/\/\)/ \
+ -( """""""""" )
+ \ _____ /
+ ( /( )\ )
+ _) (_V) (V_) (_
+ (V)(V)(V) (V)(V)(V)
+
+%
+ ___====-_ _-====___
+ _--~~~#####// \\#####~~~--_
+ _-~##########// ( ) \\##########~-_
+ -############// :\^^/: \\############-
+ _~############// (@::@) \\############~_
+ ~#############(( \\// ))#############~
+ -###############\\ (^^) //###############-
+ -#################\\ / "" \ //#################-
+ -###################\\/ \//###################-
+ _#/:##########/\######( /\ )######/\##########:\#_
+ :/ :#/\#/\#/\/ \#/\##\ : : /##/\#/ \/\#/\#/\#: \:
+ " :/ V V " V \#\: : : :/#/ V " V V \: "
+ " " " " \ : : : : / " " " "
+%
+ Has your family tried 'em?
+
+ POWDERMILK BISCUITS
+
+ Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious!
+
+ They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons
+ the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.
+
+ POWDERMILK BISCUITS
+
+ Buy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of
+ the biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark
+ stains that indicate freshness.
+%
+ Answers to Last Fortunes' Questions:
+1) None. (Moses didn't have an ark).
+2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle.
+3) You don't know. Neither does your boss.
+4) Who cares?
+5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3). Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk, Montana,
+ submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5. Unfortunately, I lost it.
+6) I know the answer to this one, but I'm not telling! Suffer! Ha-ha-ha!!
+7) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 10,953 of my
+ book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and bathroom
+ supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of Papyrus Books).
+%
+ Hard Copies and Chmod
+
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