thanks for all the info so far, i should have googled a little more i
noticed once i started with some of the words i saw in the replies,
there is some good information out there. as pointed out i found this
site that shows the pin assignment (or whatever it is called) for such
a MMJ to MMJ cross cable (im sure its the MMJ connector my cable has).

http://www.lammertbies.nl/comm/cable/dec-mmj.html

according to that site the cable should map 1 to 6, 2 to 5, 3, to 4, 4
to 3, 5 to 2 and 6, 1

but in my cable its like this on one side
black (1)
red (2)
purple (3)
blue (4)
white (5)
green (6)

and this on the other side
green (6)
blue (4)
white (5)
red (2)
purple (3)
black (1)

that doesn't appear to be correct right? i got the cable with one of
the vaxes, but i don't have a clue with which one, from who it came
and if it ever worked for that person.

my second question is on the Recv Pace, if i shouldn't select
DTR/Xon/Xoff what should i select, i can choose from: None, Xoff at
64, Xoff at 128 (seems to be the default), DTR and the above mentioned
DTR/Xon/Xoff.

thanks,
bart

ps: sorry for the double on dave, first one should be to the list not
only to you :)