Just to confirm,

netatalk is now running. Here what I did:
1) recompile the kernel wint netatalk activated
2) uncoment netatalk line in inetd.conf (not sure if necessary)
3) removed my from surce installed netatalk-1.6.1 and installed the binary
netatalk-1.5.3.1, because this gives you a short guide on the console 
how to start netatalk
you have to make a symbolic link of the services you need from
/usr/pkg/etc/rc.d/afpd to /etc/rc.d/afpd by exmple and put the name into
rc.conf (afpd=YES)

Frank

many thanks to all who helped me
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