Yes, you read it, and to me it sounds very strange.

Using 1.4.2 kernel and two realtek 8139 nic's the gateway works when
tcpdump is also listening to one of the interfaces. (Don't remember if it
does matter WHICH of the interfaces)

I have an (what I think) almost exactly configured box which works. But
that one has just one rl, the other interface is ne. That one works (ok,
it's NAT'ing, but that shouldn't matter for the forwarding.)

When we kill tcpdump the forwarding is killed too.

Any ideas with this one?

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