! .... The power supply is good as far as I know...

Okay,

! I have two 8 meg SIMMs in the lower two slots; the SIMMs were taken
! out of my AS 200 4/233 where they've been working fine since 1996.

sounds right,

! No video card I have works, including the PCI card out of my working
! AS 200. I can't test the serial ports until I get some adaptors, so
! I'm ordering some next week. 

Now, this doesn't sound right, but do you get anything on the screen? If so,
try giving it the M$ Salute... [CTRL][ALT][DEL]

! Hooking up a keyboard doesn't do anything to affect the video card. A
! keyboard (PS/2-style) that I hooked up had all three lights 
! (num,caps,scroll) on, and no key affected their status. 

Are you sure it's in the KB port (away from the power connectors), and not
the mouse port? 

! A speaker connected to the board does nothing. 

Try reversing polarity?

! My case happens to have a power led with wires to two 1-pin cables, so
! I'm able to test the diagnostic connector (J6, not the manufacturing
! one). It appears the pins are 1-16 with 1 being the lowest 
! and farthest back, and it appears that the pins zig zag. 

Zig zag? Huh?

! Having said that, connecting the LED's white wire to pin 15 
! and the green
! wire to pin 1 results in a LED shining waaaaay too bright 
! (pin 1 is +5V).
! Moving the green wire to what I'm pretty sure is pin 7 or pin 
! 9 results
! in a normally shining LED (7 and 9 are LED enable and clock). None of 
! the lines D0-D7 ever do anything. In particular, D7 should light up
! while any test is running, but it doesn't. I get nothing. So, 
! it appears
! the board doesn't even try to self-test.
! 
! Now, I have a working AXPpci33 sitting here running, and I figured I'd
! drop that processor on these two problem boards. Problem is that the
! running board's processor is too hot to touch for some period of time
! after power-down, and I don't like having the machine down for very
! long (it's my secondary DNS server, a test MySQL server, and 
! the primary
! Kerberos server). So, I don't know if the boards are dead or the 
! processor is dead (I have two boards to test but only one processor).

	Well, if you have a pair of Channel-Lock, or other big enough
pliers, you could try swapping the spare processor into the working machine
that way, and try the good processor in the two  boards. BTW, I assume it's
the same kind of processor as is in the working AXPpci33...
	Wait a minute, how about a pair of oven mitts?

! Now, provided the processor works fine then are these boards dead?
! Or have I missed something? I've got two deadweights, right?
! 
! You know, I hate to throw out a good board if I've missed something 
! important. I need a working board. What do PC64 or 164LX boards go for
! nowadays?
! 
! Thanks for any assistance.
! -- 
! Kevin P. Neal                                
http://www.pobox.com/~kpn/

Seen on bottom of IBM part number 1887724:
DO NOT EXPOSE MOUSE PAD TO DIRECT SUNLIGHT FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME.

---   David A Woyciesjes
---   C & IS Support Specialist
---   Yale University Press
---   mailto:david.woyciesjes@yale.edu
---   (203) 432-0953
---   ICQ # - 905818